Broken
by Zorra Reed
Summary: A look into the crumbling mind of a Sailor Scout. "For an instant, the world is frozen in time, and I'm standing on air, flying." Companion story now available: Treasure


**Copyright: **© _2012 Moonrise Inn Publications_  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> This is a fanfiction. Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi.  
><strong>Lyrics: <strong>'Freestate' Depeche Mode  
><strong>AN: **English Version: A look into the crumbling mind of a Sailor Scout. [Companion story: Treasure]

* * *

><p><strong>Broken<br>**Author: _Zorra Reed_  
>~Story One of Two~<br>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_I can hear your soul crying  
>Listen to your spirit sighing<br>I can feel your desperation  
>Emotional deprivation<em>

I carefully climb onto the concrete ledge where I can overlook the city. My city. A city I had sworn to protect at any cost. Ha! Any cost. I use that term lightly, for the cost may be more then I can bear. I close my eyes as a wondrously cool gust of wind pulls at the pink dress I wear. Pulling me further into myself, where the darkness dwells; a darkness that eats at my soul, trying to strip away everything that I am, everything I know.

_Let yourself go  
>Let yourself go<br>Let your feelings show_

I'm at the top of Tokyo Tower…and it's dark out…no one would see me. I could just…let go. No one would be able to save me before I made a _splashing_ end. Just think, a puddle of my own blood forming on the pavement as a permanent reminder of the terrible things that occur in life. My lifeless form engraved on the memory of all those who would see it. Imagine if you can the pain of grief and loss on the faces of my family and friends; imagine the horror and pity on those of strangers. I can see tomorrow's headline now: "**Teen Suicide at Tokyo Tower! Another Tragic Loss."** They _always_ say such meaningless dribble.

_Picking up the conversations  
>Deep in your imagination<br>Tune into the lonely voices  
>Talking of their only choices<em>

No one would care. I'd be a memory of a forgotten past; something to be cast aside until needed, if ever. It's all so easy. I just have to let go. There's nothing to think about; no contemplation or reasoning with myself on why I should or shouldn't do this. I just let go. Step forward. Step out onto air. It's not so hard to take a step. Just one… lonely… step.

_Let yourself go  
>Let yourself go<br>Let your spirit grow_

I wonder if I could fly. I stretch my arms out leaning dangerously into the wind; savoring every moment, every sensation, like one would do with a foreign chocolate casting it into eternal memory. For that's why I'm up here: to experience the sensation of flying, even if it's only for a few…short…moments. The thrill sends excited chills down my spine; creating a false sense of power, invincibility, and confidence that assaults my body; controlling me.

_Step out of your cage  
>And onto the stage<br>It's time to start  
>Playing your part<br>Freedom awaits  
>Open the gates<br>Open your mind  
>Freedom's a state<em>

I wonder if the Angels would catch me. Would God send his Angels to catch me when I fall and carry me away to Heaven? Would I be disappointed if they didn't? There's only one way to tell. The wind pulls at me again. I should go now. I shouldn't be up here; I should be down there, where I'd be free to roam with the spirits of those who have jumped before me.

_I can taste the tears falling  
>The bitterness inside you calling<br>Yearning for a liberation  
>Emotional emancipation<em>

I reach out and touch the sky, hovering in an uncertain stance. For an instant, the world is frozen in time, and I'm standing on air, flying. The wind wrapping her invisible arms around me; holding my body up, allowing me to have pure joy, truly a dream come true! Falling! Falling forward, head first with a clear view of the concrete ground rushing up from below to meet me.

_Let yourself go  
>Let yourself go<br>Let your senses overflow_

Blood sprays as the impact splits already frail skin open. I'd scream, but it's a struggle just to regain my breath. I lay still for a while savoring the aches and pains of my body. Paying close attention to my bodies growing weakness as my veins pump my crimson blood - the very source of my life - from my injured form. Such a strange, almost uncomfortable feeling it is…feeling the blood rushing out of your body. Your veins seem to tighten and stretch, upsetting ones' stomach. I try to relax, the pain lessening enough for me to sit up. Liquid fire runs through my head as I precariously gaze about. I'm still on the roof…as I always am. My song has ended; the static from the cassette mixing with my ragged, frustrated breaths.

_Step out of your cage  
>And onto the stage<br>It's time to start  
>Playing your part<br>Freedom awaits  
>Open the gates<br>Open you mind  
>Freedom's a state<em>

You didn't think I was really going to jump? Like I've said before, I have a whole city to protect. I can't die yet. Not when Sailor Moon is still needed. But that fact doesn't stop me from coming up here nearly every night and performing the same ritual over and over again. Perhaps someday I really shall jump. For now, I get more of a thrill playacting my delusions (or so I tell myself). Plus, this way I can play out so many deplorable and grotesque scenarios in my mind, broadening my future options. I chuckle bitterly; a mixture of relief and despair. The Moon Crystal has a high price…my sanity for the city.

Ja'Ne


End file.
